A Tribe of Snow Angels

There is an art and a discipline needed to live a life that is free and full of joy. It is all too easy to allow life’s inevitable challenges to slowly constrict us, to turn our joy into fear. Sometimes we don’t even notice that it’s happening. 

I have a friend whose Godfather was exceptionally wealthy. So wealthy he had never had to work a day in his life. Many would consider this a dream life; yet his was one of debilitating fear. Fear of losing his inherited wealth and having to earn a living. He lived a life trapped in his mansion, monitoring his investments and counting every penny.

Living a life that is truly free is an art we all need to master if we are to live in the joy we were made for. From the Bible to the Yoga Sutra, true freedom is central to the contemplative traditions and the wisdom of thousands of years of human experience. 

Science also supports the profound, creeping, subconscious impact that fear has on our lives. Daniel Kahneman’s experiments have proven, with scientific rigour, the fear trap at the heart of human psychology. Called Prospect Theory, Prof Kahneman’s work demonstrated how our attitude to risk changes, the more we perceive we have to lose. We become trapped by our inherent reluctance to fail. 

Our lizard brains are hardwired to see risks. Hundreds of years ago the ability to feel fear kept us alive, keeping us safe from predators allowing us to protect our families and communities. The occasional fear we would feel was an important survival instinct. 

The world is now far more complex. We are bombarded with too many risks to process and have a vastly overinflated perception of what we have to lose. We wish to avoid hardship at all costs, to hold onto possessions we simply don’t need and we want to protect a social persona that is unblemished. We become overwhelmed with fear and suffer chronic stress as a result. 

Living in fear crushes our heart. Slowly. So slowly we barely notice. Lives shrink into doing what is safe and expected of us, rather than being all we can. Like a beginner skiing a red run; knees lock, ankles tighten and we live in fear of the next fall. We live a life that is tight rather than whooping with laughter as we float on the wave of our own carving.

We all need teachers, practices and friends to save us from the brink. To allow us to see the chains that slowly choke us and to set us free. We all need Angels in our lives to bring us back to the unfettered joy that is ours to claim. 

This year I was lucky. I met some real living Snow Angels. Unbeknown to them they helped me to see where I had become fearful and shared a journey with me that I will never forget. Let me explain......

This is my second year of attending a Yoyosno ski-yoga retreat in Morzine (YoYoSno.com). Arriving felt like being welcomed back into a family I would have loved to have been born into. Our leaders for the week (Lauren, Amy and Jacob) were put on this earth to teach - Bhodsiatvas for the tired of heart and stiff of leg. Angels of snow and mat. 

I was joined by my own personal guru/wife, Rachie, along with 6 fellow students all of whom are all round inspirational characters in their own right - Sarah, Claire and the amazing, exceptionally funny and beautifully crazy Wilkie family. 

The chalet and food were simply perfect. We were cosseted and loved. We were all left feeling rested and revived. 

The skiing was predictably brilliant. Amy’s exceptional talent at making skiing at a higher level accessible and fun, is central to my growing love of the sport. 

Lauren’s wisdom and guidance on the yoga mat is beyond any other teacher I have met (and I have to admit to having been through quite a number of yoga teachers during my years of practice). Melding physical practice with authentic growth as a person is a unique skill. Lauren was supported this year by Jacob, a man of infectious yogi-passion, amazing ability on the mat and sheer loving-kindness; all of which spoke to a pure yogi-heart. 

The trip could be best described by a single moment, which will stay in my soul until the day I die. A moment in which  I noticed chains and limitations that I was holding onto, of which  I was previously unaware. A moment of testing that woke me up. 

That moment came after a day of yoga and skiing. Jacob (with Buddha shining in his eyes) invited us to jump into a trough of freezing water. 

Surrounded by snow and with breath freezing in the evening air, it is hard to describe just how unpleasant a prospect this was. My first instinct was simple. No way. You must be mad. 

At this moment something caused me to stop and reflect. When did I start saying no to life, no to experiences, no to a little challenge? When did I become so scared? When did I become so beholden to comfort?

So, without time for further thought, I found myself outside, dressed only in my swim shorts. Bare chested and bare foot, I stood on snow in the fading evening light, to a backdrop of a beautiful sunset. Dancing as the sun receded we readied ourselves for the plunge. 

Stepping into the water felt like I was watching someone else. No sane person would do this; yet here we were, a mad family for the week, allowing the warmth of community to lead a path to a freezing trough of water. 

As the water reached my chest, eyes closed I watched as my body initially panicked. Grabbing short breaths and frozen thoughts. The water was, quite simply, bloody freezing. It hurt to the point of deep relaxation. I stopped fighting myself and found a place so calm and perfect that my heart slowed and my mind exhaled. The unfettered joy of a discomfort overcome.  

I found a place cold enough to melt my heart.

I will always be indebted to Jacob’s free soul and the amazing Wilkie family magic for helping me to grow as a man, dad and husband. I am a better human as a result of knowing them. To Lauren for teaching me how to grow as a yogi and to Amy for helping me to ski better and for making my heart sing the tune of falling snow. 

Yet again I leave the YoYoSno retreat a changed man; a better man. The setting is beautiful and the food converts many a dedicated meat eater to the veggie path. 

Life may do its best to knock the dreamer from us, instil fears over hopes, make us focus on the fall we wish to avoid rather than the heights we wish to experience. I have been lucky enough to find a tribe of Snow Angels who have taught me that life and slopes are most fun when we let go, throw your body downhill and expect to fly.