Highly educated, deeply ignorant. The things I wish I had known when I was 21.

With a son who is about to turn 18, a daughter about to turn 16 and a stepson who seems to be catching them up despite his 11 years, I have been giving some thought to what I wish I’d known when I was a younger man. I’ve learned lots of lessons, all the hard way. What would this limping, scarred old man say to his 21 year old self? What lessons will I pass onto my three?

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Ignore health fads. The only health advice you ever need is to eat well, exercise often and always make time to listen to great music that makes you dance around the lounge, on your own, like a total loon. 

Invest in your mind, body and soul. It’s the friend you’ll know the longest. 

Ignore what anyone else wants for your life, despite their best intentions they’ll make you waste it. You are beautifully and perfectly made for a reason. Find it and live it without apology.

You are enough. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Being you in the world is all anyone can ask of you and all you can ask of yourself. 

Don’t hide from the world, more people die in bed than out having adventures.

Love love love. When people make you laugh, love them. When people make you cry, love them. When people hold you tight, love them. When people push you away and cause you unbearable pain, love them.

Boundaries are healthy and loving. Sometimes we love people but have to limit their role in our lives. For reasons I still haven’t fathomed, some people will want to hurt you, damage you, bring you to your knees and to heal. Love these people but keep them out of your life. Never be a victim to them.  

Money is a trap. An empty and dangerous trap. Like a carnivorous pitcher plant for humans. Money will draw you in deeper until it kills everything in you that matters most. When you get sucked in, take a breath and break free, no matter how tough and scary it feels. Our mantra is to ‘have enough for today’ and that is all that matters. Living a happy and free life is dependant on this.

Love is something you do, not something you have. Love takes daily work, painful vulnerability and terrifying honesty. Love is worth the work, pain and terror it demands. 

Be wary of anything that distracts your attention from those you love (including your phone).

Be passionate to a fault. Follow your heart as fully as you dare and then some more. Everyone will tell you it’s foolish. Love them and tell them you don’t care. Your heart wins every time. 

Say thank you all the time, and mean it. Tell inspiring people that they inspire you. Tell wise people that they have taught you. Most importantly tell the people you love that you love them. Tell them repeatedly until they are sick of hearing it. One day they’ll need to know it when you are not around. 

Don’t always look for solutions. Learning to find joy means learning to embrace every moment of our imperfect lives.

Everyone has a story and wants to share it. Try to be one of the rare people who are willing to listen.

Be very sceptical of anyone who wants to control your spiritual path. Remain open and searching always. Learn from everyone and everything including yourself, your succcess and your failures. 

Don’t do what everyone else is doing, don’t buy what everyone else is buying, don’t think what everyone else is thinking. Most people are pawns in a game they are not even aware of. 

When you are up against it, when the world has its foot on your throat, when you can see no way out - keep pushing and don’t lose heart. Looking back you’ll see this as the moment something amazing started.

No one is as confident as they look.

The world wants you to succeed. The universal flows to the particular. Set your focus on what you want to achieve and you’ll be amazed at how things will transpire to make it so. Although beware, things rarely happen precisely how or when you would like them too! 

Never ever let being exhausted, down or depressed stop you. Reset your target to the smallest thing you can realistically achieve. It may only be getting out of bed, going to the shops, meeting a friend for five minutes or washing your hair. That small step will mean that you are still moving forwards. Sometimes we run, sometimes we crawl, sometimes we drag ourselves by our nails.  

Don’t trust what you see in the mirror. In years to come you’ll look back at pictures of you and that acne, bad hair cut, uncool shirt which you worry so much about now, will be totally invisible. You’ll look beautiful and you’ll want to hold your younger self and squeeze them until they believe it. You are beautiful. Inside to out. Never forget it.

And no matter how crazy life gets never ever let yourself be too busy to eat well, exercise and listen to banging music that makes you dance around the lounge like a loon. Turn it up........